


I Should Tell You

by dinglefirst



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Declarations Of Love, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 16:37:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21413302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinglefirst/pseuds/dinglefirst
Summary: Lucas and Eliott are friends harbouring secret feelings for each other. Naturally, they're useless at communicating, until the events of a college party force them to confront the true nature of their friendship...Based on tumblr prompts “I’ve had enough.” & “I fell in love with you, not them.”
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Comments: 25
Kudos: 242





	I Should Tell You

Lucas’ ribcage vibrates with the thumping bassline of a nondescript dance track and he swears he feels the ground shift beneath his feet as he puts another shot glass to his lips, throwing his head back to swallow down the contents. Vodka. Or is it tequila? At this point it all tastes the same and he couldn’t care less what he’s actually drinking as long as he can feel it burning his throat and dulling the ache in his chest.

This party is stupid. He’d only agreed to come because Yann had insisted.

“Lucas, this is Chloe’s first birthday since we’ve been together and I want it to be perfect!” He had said, “How can the party I’m throwing for her be even close to perfect if all of our best friends aren’t there?” 

And how could he argue with that? Yann has been Lucas’ most supportive friend for as long as he can remember and he wasn’t about to let him down now just because he doesn’t like parties. 

It’s not that he doesn’t like fun – he loves spending time laughing and goofing around with the guys – it’s just that things are different at parties. People drink, people dance, people flirt and kiss and sneak off to bedrooms together. Not Lucas, though. Sure, he drinks and he dances, but nothing else. He can’t. There’s only one person he wants pressed against his body in a dark corner of this party but there’s no way that’s going to happen. Not tonight, not ever. Lucas just doesn’t get that lucky.

Eliott has been friends with Lucas and the guys since their first week of college. He’s two years older – having spent time travelling the world before starting his art degree – wildly creative, funny, kind, and just about the most beautiful thing Lucas has ever seen. Lucas never stood a chance since the very moment Eliott walked into his life. He stole his heart almost immediately and Lucas has been secretly craving the affections of his painfully beautiful friend ever since. 

He’s not sure how long he’s been staring at Eliott. The perfectly carved angles of his face are illuminated by the cheap disco lights and his large ring-adorned hands are flying about haphazardly in the air as he stands chatting and laughing with a group of girls who are clearly absolutely besotted with him.  _ Same, girls _ , he thinks to himself, trying to swallow the dry lump in his throat as he turns around in search of another drink. 

He doesn’t have to look very far as he stumbles into Yann, Arthur and Basile, the latter clutching a bottle of vodka that’s being passed between them.

“I’ll take some of that” he declares, swiping the bottle from Basile and taking a large swig.

The other three boys cheer loudly and clap Lucas on the back as they all erupt into drunken laugher, jumping and nodding their heads, barely in time with the music. 

As he watches the blurred images of his friends sway around him, Lucas starts to think that maybe this party isn’t so bad after all and he allows himself to get swept up in it. 

_ This feels good _ , he thinks as he dances erratically with god knows who and knocks back shot after shot of god knows what. 

It’s when he’s about to crash through Yann’s coffee table after a poorly executed spin, that a pair of long, toned arms wrap around his waist and plant him back onto his feet. 

“Jesus, Lucas, you could have hurt yourself!”

“Eliott!” Lucas shrieks, way too loudly considering his friend is right next to him, arms still looped around his unsteady body. “Do you want a shot? We have vodka!”

“I’ve had enough, thanks,” Eliott responds with a shake of his head, “and so have you by the looks of things. Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

“No! I don’t need you walking me anywhere thank you very much!” Lucas’ voice is sharp and he’s taken aback by how harsh he sounds, but between the alcohol and the cloudy rush of emotions that always comes from having Eliott in his personal space, he can’t stop himself. “This is supposed to be a party and I’m just enjoying myself like everyone else. I don’t need you to look after me, Eliott, so you can go back to flirting with everyone here for all I care. I’m not your problem.” 

He punctuates his outburst by twisting roughly out of Eliott’s grip but only ends up stumbling for a second time and Eliott is catching him again before he can do anything to stop it. 

“You’re so annoying sometimes.” Eliott sighs, irritatingly calm considering how Lucas just spoke to him, “I’m not arguing with you, Lucas, I need to get you to bed.”

Lucas wants to fight back. He wants to tell Eliott that he doesn’t get a say in how much he drinks or how late he stays up. He wants to tell the guys the  _ shut the fuck up _ as they start whistling and sniggering and making stupid childish comments about Eliott’s unfortunate choice of words. He wants to keep dancing and drinking until he forgets about his pathetic unrequited crush. But he’s powerless to do any of that. As Eliott’s grip tightens around his waist and the intoxicating chemicals swim around his brain, all he can do is to sink into Eliott’s side and stumble along beside him as they grab their jackets and leave Yann’s apartment. 

The air outside is bitterly cold and it rouses Lucas like a slap to the face, pulling him out of his drunken stupor just enough for him to walk beside Eliott without needing to be held up. 

“You didn’t have to do any of that, Eliott.” Lucas slurs after fifteen minutes of walking in complete silence. “I can look after myself.”

Eliott just lets out a breathy laugh, humourless and just as cold as the cruel wind biting at the tip of his nose.

“What? Is something funny?” Lucas asks, squaring up to Eliott and staring him straight in the face (or as straight as his unsteady body will allow him to). They’re at Lucas’ building now and Lucas is unsure whether the confidence bubbling in his belly is coming from the residual alcohol still pulsing through his veins or the knowledge that soon he’ll be on the other side of the door and Eliott won’t be able to look at him with those beautiful disapproving eyes anymore. “You know, Eliott, you might think it’s cool to act the hero and rescue me like that in front of all those girls but it’s not. So what if i’ve had too much to drink? So what if I wanna dance with people and just let loose every once in a while? Why do you even care?!”

“What girls? Lucas–”

“No, Eliott, I’m not done!” He’s furious now. As if it’s not enough that he’s forced to pine over Eliott as he flirts with everyone at the party but him, he then as to deal with him acting like  _ that _ in front of all of their friends. Like he cares more than Lucas knows he does, like he’s his  _ boyfriend _ or something. It’s too much for Lucas to bear and all of his emotions are just creating a huge ball of anger in his chest. “They were all over you! You could have gone home with any one of them but instead you choose to start telling me how to live my life?! Who do you think you are?!”

“Lulu, please, I didn’t want to go home with any of those girls, I just know them from my art history class.” Eliott reaches for Lucas, as if he’s going to touch his arm, but Lucas takes a step back.

“Don’t touch me. And don’t call me that! I’m not a baby, Eliott.”

“I know you’re not. I just…” Lucas can see hesitation flicker in crystal grey eyes, “I just care about you and I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“And what about the other guys? They drank just as much as me if not even more. Why weren’t you so quick to cut their night short?”

Silence.

Eliott’s face is unreadable as he just stares, open mouthed, at Lucas.

“You really haven’t figured it out?”

_ Hang on. _

_ _ “What are you talking about?”

“God, Lucas, you’re  _ infuriating  _ sometimes. Why do you have to be so stubborn?” He rubs a frustrated hand over his face. “I can’t talk about this right now. Go inside. Sleep.”

Eliott turns to walk away but there’s no way Lucas is letting this conversation end like this. He’s not letting Eliott take control again. 

“There you go again, telling me what to do!” He grabs Eliott by the arm so they’re facing once more. “This is bullshit, Eliott. If you have something to say, just spit it out!”

“Fine! You want to know why I was looking out for you, not the other guys?” Eliott takes a step closer to Lucas and suddenly the air feels different, a dangerous heat building in the icy distance between them. “You want to know why when we’re out together, all I can think about is keeping you safe, above anyone else? It’s because you mean more to me than any of the other guys. Fuck, you mean more to me than anyone else in the world.” 

_ Wait, what? _ Stunned confusion fills another brief silence and Eliott pinches the bridge of his nose, scrunching up his face before exclaiming,

_ _ “I love you, you idiot! I fucking love you!”

Lucas can’t breathe. He tries to move his mouth to say something,  _ anything _ , but he can’t speak. He can’t even think.

He just stares. 

“You drive me insane! You give me more shit than anyone I’ve ever known! And I wish I could just ignore it and treat you the same as the other guys but I can’t help it. I fell in love with you, not them.”

His chin drops to his chest, exhausted, and Lucas is still powerless to form words; everything he wants to say screeching at an unbearable pitch inside his head.

The silence feels endless and Eliott’s voice is broken, barely audible when he finally speaks again.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. Like I said, now isn’t the time.” He doesn’t meet Lucas’ eyes and it’s physically painful to hear the resignation in his voice as he backs away. “Get some rest, Lucas, and drink some water.”

And then he’s gone.

***

Eliott is woken up by his phone vibrating inconsiderately loudly on his bedside table. He has no idea what time it is but the pale yellow light seeping in through his blind tells him it’s early. 

He picks up his phone to see who it is that has the audacity to call him when the sun is barely up and almost chokes on the air in his lungs when he sees Lucas’ name lighting up the screen.

_ Shit. _

He just stares at the device in his hand, torturing himself over whether or not to answer. Is he calling to yell at him for acting like a controlling asshole? Will he tell him they can’t be friends anymore now that he knows the truth about Eliott’s feelings? Or maybe there’s a chance he doesn’t remember their heated conversation in the middle of the night on Lucas’ doorstep – he was completely wasted after all.

After a few more agonising seconds of indecision, Lucas seems to make the decision for him and the phone stops buzzing in his hand. 

_ Probably for the best _ , Eliott thinks to himself. It’s early and he’s exhausted. Not to mention unbelievably embarrassed and ashamed of the ridiculous way he treated his friend last night and the way he just spilled the entire contents of heart all over Lucas like an avalanche of heated words and emotions. 

He decides to get a shower to clear his head. He’s in no fit state right now to have any kind of rational conversation with Lucas. 

Under the scalding spray of the water, all he can think about is how badly he’s fucked everything up. Maybe it would have been better to have just let Lucas keep drinking, and left the guys to look after him. Maybe everything would be the same as always and there’d be no awkwardness between them if Eliott had just kept his nose out of Lucas’ business. There’d be no need to avoid his phone calls and Eliott wouldn’t be picturing the anger and betrayal in Lucas’ eyes every time he closed his own.

But how was he supposed to just ignore Lucas putting himself in danger like that? He loves him. Whether it’s his place to do so or not, he loves Lucas with all of his being and it’s impossible to stand by and watch him drink himself stupid. If something had happened to him, if anything ever happened to that beautiful, headstrong  _ nightmare _ of a boy, Eliott’s whole world would come crumbling down around him. 

_ Fuck this _ , he thinks to himself as he turns off the water and steps out of the shower, wiping the steam away from the mirror and staring at his reflection. Lucas is his best friend and so what if he doesn’t return Eliott’s romantic feelings, friends still have to look out for each other. 

Lucas might be angry with Eliott, he might feel awkward or freaked out by Eliott’s feelings for him, but there’s no way Eliott is going to lose him over this. So, Lucas knows the truth now, so what? He was bound to figure it out someday. At least now they can talk things through and move on. 

His mind is made up, he’s going to go straight over to Lucas’ place and they’re going to talk, calmly and honestly, at a reasonable time of day when nobody is blind drunk. He will agree to forget his feelings for Lucas and maybe Lucas will agree to take better care of himself and everything will go back to normal.  _ God, please let things go back to normal _ .

Just as he’s managed to calm himself down and psych himself up, there’s a thunderous knocking that makes a series of startled expletives leap from his mouth.

“One minute!” he calls, before hastily rubbing his hair dry with a towel, wrapping it around his waist and padding barefoot to the front door.

He opens it with a frustrated sigh, eager to get rid of whoever it is so he can go and sort things out with Lucas. 

As it turns out, however, there’s no need to go anywhere, as a heavily breathing and slightly crimson-faced Lucas strides past the threshold of Eliott’s apartment, kicking the door closed behind him. He grasps Eliott’s face with both hands and kisses him ferociously on the mouth.

***

This isn’t what Lucas had planned. 

He’d woken up with a blinding pain behind his eyes and a head full of hazy memories from the alcohol fuelled night before. One memory from last night was crystal clear, though, playing on a loop in his head like the most beautiful yet terrifying piece of music imaginable. 

After trying and failing to reach Eliott over the phone, he’d spent the whole walk over to his apartment rehearsing the perfect speech in his head. He was planning on apologising for being so snappy last night, and for being so scared and so stupid and wasting so much time hiding his feelings that could have been spent showering Eliott with all the love that’s so desperate to spill out from his heart. 

Lucas really had been planning to say all of those things, but then the door opened and Eliott was standing there before him – skin glowing from the shower, hair damp and tousled from being rubbed haphazardly with the towel that was now slung around his slender hips, forcing Lucas’ eyes to rake down his perfect porcelain torso – his mind just clouded over and his body acted on instinct.

So now they’re kissing. Lucas’ lips, freezing cold from the November air outside, seeking much needed warmth from Eliott’s. It’s clumsy – hands unsure where to go and what to hold on to – and then it’s over.

Lucas has no idea how long it is before they break apart. Seconds? A minute? It could have been an hour and it would still not be enough.

“Lucas, what-” Eliott takes a step back with a look on his face as if he’s not sure whether or not he’s actually awake. Lucas holds up a hand to interrupt him. He has to get this out before it burns a hole in his chest.

“Eliott, I love you too.” Eliott looks like a startled puppy and  _ god _ Lucas just wants to kiss him again and make all the confusion and misunderstanding go away, but he continues, “I’m so sorry for the way I spoke to you last night, and I’m sorry for getting myself into that state in the first place. I’m sorry for everything, Eliott, but you have to know that I did all of that because I’m so stupidly in love with you and the thought that you didn’t feel the same was  _ killing me _ .” 

Eliott is just staring at him now, his beautiful kiss-reddened lips parted in a way that makes his heart pound with want and fear that he’s messed everything up for good.

“Eliott, please say something.”

“I don’t know what to say…”

“I know, I’m so sor–”

“Please don’t say sorry again.  _ I’m _ sorry, Lucas. I was on my way to tell you that right now. I was on my way to tell you that I shouldn’t have marched you out of that party last night. I shouldn’t have yelled at you and made you feel bad. I should have just told you from the beginning how I feel about you. I should have just… I should have done this…”

It’s Eliott who takes Lucas’ face in his hands this time, warm and soft and reassuring. He presses his lips to Lucas’ in a single kiss that’s filled with so much certainty and sincerity that Lucas feels as though nothing could ever hurt him again. He feels safe and loved and suddenly so sure that this is exactly how things were always meant to be between him and Eliott. It’s as though this whole time, their friendship has really just been a build-up to the inevitable fire that was desperate to be set alight between them. 

“Are we really doing this?” Lucas whispers, almost afraid to be heard in case the answer isn’t the one he needs.

“Oh god, I hope so.”

There’s a frozen moment in time where they just gaze at each other, confirming with their eyes that this really is happening, before the moment breaks and they’re both taken over by the kind of fervour and desperation that can only be brought on by months of sheer want and pining finally coming to an end.

One of Eliott’s arms wraps around Lucas’ neck as the other snakes around his middle, pulling him closer so their bodies are flush together. Lucas’ hands find the back of Eliott’s head and grip the damp strands of his beautiful hair as their mouths crash and slide together. They kiss like they’ll die if they stop. Their breathy moans mix with the wet sounds of lips and tongues exploring one another, creating a heady symphony of pure desire. 

They only tear their mouths apart when they realise they’ve stumbled over to the doorway of Eliott’s bedroom. The air is like tar and they can feel the need of their bodies pressing against each other. 

Lucas’ fingers dance across the top of the towel that covers Eliott’s lower half and Eliott’s eyes are wide and black when he speaks, slow and teasing.

“It doesn’t seem fair that I’m only wearing a towel when you’ve still got all these layers on.”

“You’re right.” Lucas says, looping his fingers around Eliott’s wrist and pulling him deeper into the bedroom, “Let’s do something about that, shall we?”

“I was really hoping you’d say that.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I have ever posted any of my fic on here, so please go easy on me! 🙈  
Come find me on Tumblr @lifeisevak if you feel like saying hi! 💖


End file.
